My Life on Points

Okay so it hasn't even been 2 full weeks yet, but things feel completely different this time around. My attitude has definitely shifted from, "this is something I need to do to get thin" (subtext: I am being punished for being fat), to "this is something I am CHOOSING to do for myself" (subtext: even though it does get rough, I am happy to make better choices for myself because it makes me feel good). That shift didn't come easy though. A lot of soul searching and binge episodes were required to get me to that point.

So far I have been able to fit WW in to my life easily. I even had dinner with my in-laws this weekend without having to alert them that I was counting points again and obsess over what was being served. I haven't told anyone except my husband that I was doing this again...(well...and you guys!). I didn't tell anyone. Not so much because I was afraid I was going to fail. Okay, Perhaps a little bit of it had to do with that. But more so because I feel that this time I am finally doing this for myself. I want this. I'm doing it only to get myself what I want, not because I know that everyone else is thinking I should be doing this. I'm done trying to prove myself or please the rest of the world. This time it's for me.

I feel more comfortable doing it this time, though I've been protected by the sanctity of my own house and cooking for most of it. Next month with family celebrations, holidays, and a weekend out with friends will put me to the test. I have to say that I have been able to be flexible this time which has allowed me to stay on course properly.

This weekend while I was out with my kids we stopped for some pizza. I was a little nervous even though I had enough points to have a slice. Something awesome happened during that lunch though. I ran out of water but really needed a drink. I had been avoiding having a sip of the girls' iced tea because I would rather eat my points than drink them. Anyway, I needed something to wash down my last bit of pizza so I took a small sip and almost had to spit it out because it was way too sweet!! It was a natural iced tea sweetened with real cane sugar, so not even one of those super sweet high fructose corn syrup laden drinks. I was happily in disbelief as I took another sip and had the same reaction. Normally I would have downed a whole bottle for myself, and now here I am pushing away after two small sips! Now if only I could have that same reaction towards cake!!!