My New Hair Cut

I don't know how I forgot to post about this.

Before I began my WW journey, I made a conscious decision to start getting myself back together. I started letting myself go before I had kids, but having the kids made it easier for me to have an excuse. An excuse for not taking care to at least put myself together nicely. All because I'm overweight doesn't mean I can't make myself look the best I could.

I had always toyed with the decision to cut my hair short, but always stopped at shoulder length when I went in for a cut. My hair, as of late, has changed dramatically from the long lush locks I had as a younger person. It's been thinning over the years (I'm told it's falling out from stress), and tends to become brittle and stringy. So when left long, my hair looked terrible. And I'm really not too skilled in the art of hair care which just made matters worse.

Anyway, I decided that I was tired of being dumpy. There are plenty of beauiful overweight people and there was no reason I couldn't be the same. It's not like things would change once I lost the weight. There are plenty of dumpy looking thin people to prove that point. I wasn't sure where to start though. Obiviously I couldn't run out and just buy myself a new wardrobe, but I did start with two new tops and a pair of jeans. So on days I have to leave the house, I at least have *someting* that's flattering for my shape and youthful (but still age appropriate!). As I hit my goals most of my rewards will be new clothing to accomodate my new shape.

What I could do right away, though, is get that haircut I was always threatening to get. I went out and bought a ton of hairstyle magazines and was pleased to see that the good old bob was pretty popular these days with lots of variations to choose from! I found a picture, went to a real hair salon and had the stylist chop off my hair!

I felt like a new person after that. I felt like Felicity (anyone remember that show?) when she cut all her hair off in the final episode one season (though I like my cut way better!) It was a physical change for sure, but it was just as much of a symbolic gesture to mark the change in mindset I had for myself. And I've noticed a change too. I like my new hair. I learned how to style it. I have more of an interest in making myself presentable before jetting out of the house to chauffer the kids to whereever they need to be. I feel better about myself and more confident in my decisions. I feel like I sparked the thin, confident girl within and now I am eager to bring her forth.

My First Few Days

I've made it through four and a half days already even though I didn't have a full menu planned out and my kitchen fully stocked like I originally intended. I'm the kind of person who throws in the towel the minute things don't go as planned so that was a big deal for me.

The first day was a little rough. I was hungry and still just wanted something to chew, crunch or whatever. I got past it though. I didn't want to screw up my first day. Those urges got less and less the next couple days. I still feel uncomfortable in those times when I would eat to calm myself or just to feel better, but at least I could recognize those times for what they are and hopefully learn better ways to handle them. My ability to stay in points so far is boosting my confidence.

All the food I've prepared for myself has been delicious thus far(I have a TON of WW cookbooks to help with recipes and ideas). The tactic that has proven to be most useful though, is forcing myself to eat slowly. Taking small bites and throughly chewing, putting my food (or fork) down between bites to drink or talk to my family, that's what's been helping me to feel less deprived during and after meals. My impulse is to shove as much stuff into my mouth as I can, and so by forcing myself to eat slowly I am eating less and giving my body time to feel full.

I also got over another perfectionist issue this week. In the past I would be meticulous about weighing and measuring so that I can calculate exact point values. When I'm home and have the luxury of my food scale and measuring cups that's not so much an issue. When I go out though I would have to estimate not only how much of what I ate, but what I thought an appropriate point value would be. This issue has led to my demise in the past. If I can't be exact I can't deal with counting. I was able to resonably estimate a meal and still feel like I was being true to the program. That was a huge victory.

So I am happy so far with my progress, but I can see how this is a battle that needs to be taken one day at a time. Or rather one meal at a time!