Thursdays are my weigh in days. I knew my weight loss would be a little slower considering the harder week I had. WW gives you 35 flex points to use in addition to your regular daily points should you need them. I try never to use them because I feel it slows my weight loss (you eat more you lose less). Anyway, I needed them last week and so I used them. Not all of them, maybe I used about half. I was proud of myself though for having stayed in my points and keeping on top of things.
What I was not ready for was my results at the scale. My weight had stayed exactally the same. No gain, but no weight loss either. I was disappointed.
My husband was home that day and gave me a "day off". So I went out shopping to try and find something nice to wear on a dinner I was going to with a friend. Shopping added insult to injury as I was not able to find anything that looked halfway decent. I have nothing appropiate at home either so I felt desperate and disappointed and overly stressed. Somehow I managed to go out and still have a great time despite all of that or worrying about how I looked.
Dinner was hard. I tried to be mindful of points, but nights like these come so rare for me that I just wanted to enjoy it. I had my drinks and suspended point counting for the day (though I didn't gorge myself). The problem though, is not the occasional night out. It's that the occasional night out blends into the next day, the weekend and into the following week. THat's where I am now.
My in-laws took us out to dinner the next night (I know when it rains it pours!) Anyway I made progress there. I still didn't count points, BUT I drank water instead of soda, ordered salad (oil and vinegar on the side) instead of the pasta with my meal, limited my bread to one piece before the meal (normally I'd eat one basketful with butter!), and had tea instead of coffee laden with cream and sugar. So I made changes and practiced restraint which is commendable, though I still feel like I'm failing because I didn't follow the program accordingly. I also felt defeated in the sense that those changes are great, but it's not going to be enough to get this fat off my body.
The next day, my mom took the kids and me to see a play in the park. She always packs WW friendly snacks and drinks so we were set for the afternoon. However, she also cooked a wonder dinner that evening of pasta with a meat sauce. I tried to keep it under control (still not measuring and counting though). I drank water, but had one tiny sip of soda. The killer there was the double stuffed oreos. I only had 4, but it made me feel terrible to even have those after the weekend of enjoying myself.
No problem I said, the week is when things are easiest for me to stay in points and get on track. But it's Monday already. I have no plan, I didn't go grocery shopping and all we have in the house is the left overs from the weekends culinary escapades. I feel sad and nervous and stressed about a whole host of things. If money weren't an issue, I'd say whatever even though I wasn't on target, I still made some personal victories and just continue on my battle seeking the support of the meetings (I really like my group), get through the rest of the day and start again tomorrow.
But cost is a concern. Money is very tight for us and so I feel like I'm thowing money away if I'm not following it to a tee and showing a steady weight loss. I don't want to give it up though and unlike my attempts in the past (when I could afford the meetings no problem) I feel like the small victories I made at dinner are worthy, even if I'm not at the point where I am able to stay totally on program every week. It's about changing a mindset and that takes time right? Still when every penny matters we don't always have the luxury of time.
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- I am a SAHM who is struggling to lose 50 pounds and adopt a healthier way of eating and living.
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8 comments:
I accidentally landed on your blog and I think it's great! It's great to be able to share 'war' stories with other girls about our struggles. I did WW twice, and have been able to maintain off the 20 pounds I lost. I learned it was most important to keep counting points, especially when I went out ate the 'yummy' foods. WW gave me a food education and taught me to always be aware of food 'cost'. I don't know if you play gin rummy, but the game doesn't mean much when you don't count every point, so keep counting - you can do it!
Fridays are my weigh in days, and the weekends are always especially hard for me too. They're not as structured as week days and last minute/change in plans always throw me off.
Like you, I tend to suspend counting points on the weekends, but I do try to be mindful. This week, however, the weekend did spill over onto Monday and I had a horrible day. I think we will always have these.
I think it's great that you're able to recognize the small victories though. You ordered salad instead of pasta, only had one piece of bread (REALLY hard to give up carbs!), and drank water instead of soda. Slow and steady wins the race. While it's great to see results from week-to-week, sometimes it takes a little longer. I know they've mentioned it in my WW meetings before, but the weight stays off longer when you lose it more slowly.
You may not have lost any weight this weigh-in, but you didn't gain, and that's still a good thing!
I know how you feel. At least you were able to keep it somewhat controlled though I know it is very hard. I struggle everyday with it and mentally it takes a toll on me to think that I am failing when in fact each day just a little success can go a long way.
Hang in there. The trick is not to give in to the emotional part of it. You have to see that just being able to be aware of the obsticles is a huge deal. I know at times I can be in denial but you were very aware.
Plus you didn't gain and that in itself is huge! Congrats!
I can relate to the money thing. It seems like everything to drop the weight has some type of cost. I can't even tell you how much in the past I have spent to drop the pounds LOL! My husband would have a fit. I simply think that you have to try everything until you find the one thing that works.
I haven't started yet with a diet place. I am thinking about weight watchers but I'm nnaot sure. I have to do something though.
Karen aka marrid66
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This is a great post. I'm right there with you this week. There's all of this Halloween candy in the house and I have no will power when it comes to chocolate!
Emily
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It sounds like you are making some great strides in the right direction. If there is one thing I have learned, it is that we may fall off track for a few days...weeks...months... But, we can always re-group and get right back on track. That is what I am trying to do at this very moment. I traveled to visit my parents, and ate what I wanted, which just flowed over into a stressful time, which flowed over into have company at our house...etc. Sometimes we have to forget and forgive and move full steam ahead. One day at a time.
Hello? Are ju there? :D
Don't become disheartened because you feel that some of the changes you're making are "small" and that they won't help. They will help, you just need to keep doing them. Don't underestimate the small choices you've made in the right direction and don't underestimate yourself. Thank you for sharing your struggles. You'll get there!